Time, Space, and Plexiglass

 I've started eating milk again, I think. I went dairy free when a naturopathic doctor told me to, a month after I went gluten free, so just under two and a half years ago. It's undoubtedly stupid to start eating something my body obviously doesn't like, but I'm so tired of it. Just dairy free, or just gluten free, I could handle, but.... I started crying this morning because I wanted pizza and I couldn't have any. Since I stopped eating stuff I've had time periods where it has bothered me way more than it usually does, but this is by far the worst.

So I quit. I know that I can't eat gluten without risking permanent intestinal damage, but dairy is just sort of painful. Before, when I ate it regularly, it only really hurt me if I had like a glass of milk on an empty stomach. I'm gonna start eating it again for a few weeks and see how it feels. Because if I can get back to that, I'm just gonna live with it. It's too obnoxious to go to a gluten free bakery and still not be able to eat anything. 

I have very mixed feelings about this decision. On one hand, holy fuck, dairy is tasty. I had a peanut butter milkshake today. It was really good. And next time I go to the store I'm gonna buy a gluten free frozen pizza. On the other hand... Usually when I've eaten gluten or dairy since I went GFCF (gluten free casein(milk protein) free), it's been a self-destructive thing. IE, I tend to eat stuff I know I shouldn't when I'm in a really terrible mood and also smoking and drinking things I shouldn't. So I'm skeptical that I'm in my right mind, exactly. 

My mom thinks it's a good idea, oddly. Well, she thinks it's stupid to start eating milk again by having a milkshake, but in general she thinks easing back into eating it is a good idea. I don't think other people are going to agree, though. nerdyrockchick in particular is totally going to yell at me. 

No negative effects noted yet, though that doesn't really mean anything since it's only been 6 hours. I have a kind of nasty headache, but I think that's from being out in the sun for most of the day and for doing the crazy Northwest summer thing.

The crazy Northwest summer thing, for those who didn't grow up somewhere hot and then move to Washington, is when it's Saturday and like 70 so everyone goes "OMG, it's so hot/nice/sunny, we have to go to the beach/park/zoo/mountains." while simultaneously talking about how bizarrely hot it is (70 degrees fahrenheit). If you really want to do the crazy Northwest summer thing right, you go someplace with water (we went to this park with all these things that spray water) and pretend it's warm enough to be there and all wet. Actually, it was warm enough to be wet with like lukewarm water, but the water was really cold.  So I think cold water + bright sun has led to my headache.

It was fun anyway though. My sister and I have no shame and very little self-consciousness, so we definitely played in the water things, even though we were at least ten years older than anyone else there. She kept pushing me under the bucket things as they filled up and turned over, so I ended up completely soaked and she was barely wet. But then my brother (he's nine) finally deigned to play, and I got him all wet by grabbing him and standing under the buckets. Then I put part of my sister's snow cone down the back of his shirt and it was war. In a few minutes we're going to eat dinner on the patio of my stepdad's restaurant, where they have gluten free beer. 

Fine, fine, maybe the crazy Northwest summer thing is fun. But that doesn't mean it's not crazy.