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[personal profile] hooloovoo
So, friends list, all, you know, 3 of you.... I keep meaning to friend more people. but then i... don't.
anyway. i just got my assignment thing for [community profile] apocalyptothon  and i sorta need a beta. 'sorta' because as yet there's nothing to edit, i just need someone to mock me when i insist the story will get better once the zombies show up to fight the pirates. (ok, not really. but only because i can't figure out how to work zombies and pirates in to the plot. although...) my person who would normally do this doesn't do bandom, though i remain hopeful i can eventually convert her. and then someday in the future there will be proper beta-ing.

lol. ok, so i wrote the above a couple days ago, and then went OMG, pirate AU! and sort wrote the basis/character sheet for it. no zombies. yet. so here's that. in total nerd fashion, it's more or less set in the pirates of the caribbean universe. there will prolly be more later.

ETA: uh, this will prolly get edited a few more times, because i can't leave well enough alone and the online version not matching the one on my computer bugs me.



    Gerard Way is actually pretty good at being Pirate King. He’s terrible at being a pirate, of course, but being king means he doesn’t have to do any of the murdering and pillaging he finds so objectionable. As king, he mostly just hangs out at Shipwreck Cove and makes somewhat incomprehensible announcements, like the most recent one about how all enemy combatants should be informed of their rights before any fighting starts.

    If Gerard finds out a ship hasn’t been obeying his orders, he just looks a little sad before he wanders off. Mikey, on the other hand, can be vicious. He doesn’t expect everyone to follow all of Gerard’s rules all the time, but he doesn’t like it when Gerard is sad. No one does, really, but Mikey is the only person who’s had a captain keelhauled for telling Gerard that equal rights for women was ‘impractical.’
   
    Frank Iero took over as captain of the Lady of Sorrows when Gerard was elected king. Surprisingly, this hasn’t increased the ship’s profits. Frank is less opposed to actual pirating, but he’d rather just keep sailing, preferably as fast as possible. Staying in one place too long makes him twitch. Shipwreck Cove is okay, though, as far as land goes. Gerard is there, for one, and also Frank can jump off the tall shipwrecks without anyone freaking out.

    Ray Toro is an Oxford educated cartographer. He really didn’t mean to become a pirate. He hired the Lady of Sorrows to sail him around the Caribbean so he could get the coastlines exactly right eight years ago, and never got around to leaving. He likes the pirates, they don’t mind if he spends two weeks redrawing one beach. Ray’s got a great memory, and his knowledge of sandbars has saved them in more than one fight.

    Bob Bryar, on the other hand, is a pirate born and raised. He was born at Shipwreck Cove to one of the most terrifying female captains in history. Bob could tie a figure-eight knot before he could walk, and he’s never been anywhere he couldn’t smell the ocean. He can fix anything on a boat, from scraping barnacles to redesigning the rudder. His ships are always the fastest, and the East India Company has a standing offer of ten chests of gold and a pardon if he’ll work for them. He punches anyone who mentions it.

    Before Gerard, Pete Wentz was king. He hated it. Stuck at the Cove, without his crew or Patrick, far away from the action. It was a nightmare. He lasted six months before he tried to leap from the highest wreck. Luckily, he got distracted trying to write the most eloquent possible suicide note, and then the Cork Tree sailed into the harbor and he had to go see them. Patrick pointed out he could just quit being king, which was a revelation for Pete, and he returned to his ship. Pete loves standing on the bridge, yelling, “Fire the cannons!” Every so often the crew even obeys.

    Like Ray, Patrick Stump grew up in England. His father was (and probably still is) an admiral in the British Navy. Patrick spent his childhood at his father's knee, his designated successor. He learned how to fight a battle at sea and how to lead a thousand men. And he was good at everything but single combat. But he didn't want any of it. He loves the sea, but hated the politics of the Navy. Patrick just wants to sail, he doesn't want to lead anyone. He and Pete call themselves co-captains of the Cork Tree, but Patrick rarely uses his power. For the most part, Pete makes decisions, and Patrick makes it happen. Every so often though, Patrick refuses, and tells Pete it's a dumb idea. The fights are epic. Patrick always wins.

    Joe Trohman has known Pete since they were 15 and trying to stowaway together. Joe's goals in life are to hang out with his friends, sail cool places, and find beaches to chill on. Joe's a pretty successful guy. On board ship, he has an odd ability to show up when he's needed most but be impossible to find the rest of the time. Patrick's learned not to expect him to help mend the sails or anything like that, but in a fight Joe's in the middle of it, picking off enemies with the throwing knives he seems to have stashed everywhere. He also knows nearly every pirate on the seas, which came in handy the time they accidentally sailed to Singapore and only avoided walking the plank because of Joe's, “Oh, hey, we hung out in Tortuga that one time.”

    Andy Hurley used to be navigator on the Cork Tree, but now he stays in Shipwreck Cove as Keeper of the Code. He knows the Code, why it is the way it is, and how it could be better. And he really enjoys explaining all of those things to anyone who will listen. He and Gerard will make piracy ethical if it kills them. Andy's got a story written on his body too, in the sailor's language of symbolic tattoos. A dragon from China and an anchor for sailing the Atlantic. Several swallows, for the thousands of miles he's sailed. And a few for luck: stars, to know the way, and a compass rose, to get home safely.

    Ryan Ross and Spencer Smith showed up in a rowboat a couple years ago. Like Pete and Patrick, they share command of the Pas de Cheval. (Pete thinks, loudly, that's the worst name for a ship ever. Ryan thinks Pete should shut up because if it wasn't for Patrick, Pete would call his ship the Mmrs.) Unlike Pete and Patrick, no one has heard them fight. Ever. Occasionally the rumor floats around that Ryan and Spencer are psychic or otherwise supernaturally connected. They've never actually denied it.

    Ryan read constantly about pirates as a child, and when he was twelve and Spencer was eleven they swore to run away to sea as soon as they could. Spencer was never as interested in the poetic freedom of the seas, but he certainly wasn't going to let Ryan go alone. Now, Ryan would be as happy to retire and become a hermetic writer, but Spencer loves the rhythm and structure of life on a ship. The Pas de Cheval is the neatest and most organized ship its crew members have ever seen, because of Spencer.
   
    Most people meeting Brendon Urie think he's crazy, hyperactive and oblivious. And he kind of is. But his intuitive leaps are right more often than not. Even Spencer, who hates using untested theories, grudgingly trusts him. Brendon spends most of his time dancing around the ship, singing sea chanteys he makes up as he goes. He's extremely outgoing, until someone tells him he shouldn't be, or makes him feel bad about it. Then he completely shuts down. No smiles or jokes. It's a remnant of his childhood in a Quaker community far up north. Quakers aren't bad people, but they value calm and quiet, and that's not Brendon's way. Luckily, Ryan and Spencer protect Brendon as fiercely as they do each other.

    Jon Walker worked in a pub in Tortuga for years, until Ryan wandered in looking for an African chieftain with a treasure map. Jon helped him look all over the island. The chieftain turned out to be more of a guy in a costume with no idea where any treasure was. Jon was a better find. He and Brendon pieced together rumors he'd heard at the pub and led the Pas de Cheval to its first stash of gold. Jon has been enamored of these odd whimsical pirates since.
 
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